That Darn Katz!
I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. She also liked to shut up! Okay, I like a challenge. You’re going to do his laundry?
Love and Rocket
Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” When will that be? Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things.
- You’re going to do his laundry?
- We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera.
The Series Has Landed
Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV. It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’? Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?
Where the Buggalo Roam
Oh, you’re a dollar naughtier than most. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
- The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
- Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
- Is that a cooking show?
No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.